| Dispatches From the Garden 1 |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|07:20 am] |
Today is Sunday - day three of my meditation and contemplative gardening retreat. Except for time with my mom I am mostly keeping in solitude for a week as my roommate is away. I am not doing e-mail or FB or even answering the phone, except to check for messages 2 times a day, I did decide to add in some contemplative writing time as I have been out of touch with my creativity for a while. So here is the first dispatch from the gardens, I might send out another one in a few days:
The Butterfly Garden
The butterfly garden is in! I have lots of Monarch caterpillars on the asclepias. They ate the two plants I had so I bought a big lush one and they are chomping away and growing very fat. Today I saw a Monarch on it, I assume laying eggs. Deborah will have seedlings for me.
Next to the asclepias (milkweed) is a buddhelai (butterfly bush) and I saw the Monarch and some others on it even though it is still quite little. The other plants, which are not in flower yet are bugleweed, dianthus and salvia. I am waiting for the gallardia to go half price at Lowes. It's starting to look bedragled.
And I also want some echinachea. I need to look up a few native plants that hummingbirds like. I have a shepard's hook for hummingbird feeders but I would like some plants for them also. So now I have a lovely little butterfly and hummingbird garden right outside my bedroom window in front of the gardenias and hyacinths. Oh bliss.
On the other side by the fence is the bird and squirrel space. From the day I envisioned it, cardinals started coming onto the property and yelling at me to get going! I still have to put up a squirrel feeder as anything for them on the ground will be eaten by the dogs. In addition to a cardinal couple I have mockingbirds who sing all day, bluejays who seem to like peanuts even more than the squirrels do, and morning doves.
I am envisioning my yard full of butterflies, hummingbirds, dragonflies, birds and squirrels. Sounds like heaven to me!
The Saced Space
The Sacred space has a mango tree in the center with a Buddha underneath. This mango was just a little twig that my neighbor gave me 3 months ago and is now a 4 ft high very healthy tree. Part of this is how fast things grow in Florida and part is he is a very happy tree being at the center of a sacred circle.
I have worked with the nature dralas of the property for what crystals and other objects belong in the circle and the plants. Today I finally got the plants in. I have more lantana (a bunch is up front) which butterflies like, two pentas and two yellow diasy like annuals, which down here can end up being perennials. |
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| Monday Morning |
[May. 11th, 2009|09:11 am] |
Been very internal so just writing little nothings on FB. Today can write again. I am trying to figure out how to do my day as it is already 9 AM. Being a type Z person, it can take me forever to combobulate myself upon waking but I try to remember I have many gifts even if getting a good start on the day isn't one of them!
Obviously I will not get done today what I had on my list. So the first thing I am doing is making a comittment to doing more with my health so I don't wake up fuzzy and not feeling rested.I have not been taking my supplements and perelandra essences. I sometimes get tired of having to do so much to maintain this solidity. But I do love life so I decided to start now to go back to what I need to do to give my body more strength.
This morning instead of coffee, which wasn't really helping I am doing cranberry juice in water and I already feel a little better. I need to take iron for anemia. vitamin/mineral natural supplement, fish oi, joint compound, ginko compound, cal/mag and the perelandra at night and am and walk alot more. I think I will also have to accept the cost of veggies as I had a juicer drink with beets, carrots, etc that my body loved, I am just not strong enough to garden yet.
So I think I will organize my day like this:
take stuff
meditate, do the Omer and CIM
water the two plants I bought on earth day and didn't fell strong enough to plant
walk with dogs
follow up on my mom's therapy which has fallen into a mercury retrograde hole
That will take me to the heat of the day and on the island so I can stop in at the hearing aid place because my mom's h.a. got lost again and then use the computer at the coffee house.
Another goal is after this 3 month period to get special rates I am going to give up my internet service as I am better but not as good as I would like to be about restricting my use. Plus it's fun to go to the coffee house and library and I never go anymore now I do computer at home.
Knowing my turtle pace (I've decided to adopt the turtle as my current totem) that will be it for the day.
If there is any strength left it would be good to plant the plants. If not I will make it first thing tomorrow morning.
I did get my check this morning direct deposit and payed bills! Now that's a nice feeling! Need to go to the bank with another check - feeling very abundant, just need to increase that abundance to my body!! |
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| Morning Contemplation |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|06:34 am] |
This is Malchut of Gevurah of the Omer - the foundation of discipline. As I contemplated this I realized that this is what my life is all about at this point. I never created a life just for me. It was always for me and my partner. There was a way, with a woman's conditioning that the emphasis was more on the partner than me.
As I look at my life right now, I suddenly realized I am creating the foundations of a positive life, a positive discipline. Part of discipline is knowing what to accept and what to reject and to follow through on that knowledge.
What I am accepting is creating a home that is fulfilling and sustains me. I have my little world I created in the back of the house and realize that is all I need. We've been conditioned to think we need all this space, houses getting bigger and bigger, closets the size of what used to be bathrooms and bathrooms the size of what used to be master bedrooms. And I won't even go there for the size of master bedrooms!
For me this distorted my sense of proportion. I thought I needed a whole house but I don't. My space is so perfect for me with big windows facing nature and the sun. And knowing this I am creating another foundation. I discovered I really enjoy having roommates. It's fun and it simplifies my life as I have help with the house and the yard, which having CFS is very good.
So I realize even if I could downsize to a little condo I"d rather have my house and yard and roommate.
The next Malchut of Gevurah is my livelihood. I am reaching out again to do counseling, especially with astrology. I will have my first consultation over Skype with a FB friend overseas! I am planning soon to look for sponsors for going to chaplaincy school which really fits who I am. In the meantime time I am very disciplined in creating networks and doing volunteering in the areas I want to work.
My next Malchut of Gevurah is creating organic gardens for food and flowers, bees, hummingbirds, and butterflies. This is a spiritual foundation for me as well as practical. So I am feeling very good about my Malchut of Gevurah. |
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| Astrology Newsletter 4/21/09 |
[Apr. 21st, 2009|11:06 am] |
Redefining Capitalism After the Fall (headline in the NYT)
The most remarkable feature of this historical moment on Earth is not that we are on the way to destroying the world — we’ve actually been on the way for quite a while. It is that we are beginning to wake up, as from a millennia-long sleep, to a whole new relationship to our world, to ourselves and each other.
~ Joanna Macy
"General Electric CEO Jeff Immelt has suggested that the current crisis is not just a recession but a fundamental "reset" of how business gets done."
[This article is one in a series of astrology's perspective on how we can take current upheavals up the levels into a collective spiritual leap. Astrology defines the energies, it does not cause them]
In the above quotes, we see the best and highest essence of Pluto in Capricorn, 2008 - 2023. Pluto energy destroys what needs to be destroyed so the new can be born. It is still up to us to make sure the birth happens. Otherwise we see an exaggeration of the negative. When Pluto was in Sagittarius, sign of religions, we saw the later - fundamentalism gone wild with enormous damage to life and the planet.
Since many people do not have religion as the entire focus of their life the intensified effect of Pluto in Sag was left to those for whom it is an unhealthy obsession. Now that Pluto has moved on we see more ordinary people feeling aghast at fundamentalism and the younger Christian fundamentalists are into ecology and social justice. Perhaps the pendulum had to swing all the way on that one.
With the worldwide economic collapse no one has 20+ years to fanatically hold onto the old patterns. Back in the early 70's we had a short popularization of sustainability. This didn't actually go away. Like a seed in the desert it has waited to germinate. Mother Earth News still tells us how to live that way. Fair trade brings together business and ecology of both people and the land.
Capricorn is the structures of society. Those structures have rotted from within. The negative of Cap is best symbolized by the tarot card the devil - it is about materialism taking over consciousness so nothing else is important. In the lavish lifestyles of the CEO's, the Enron crowds we have seen Cap gone wild. No regard for anyone or anything but manna.
Capricorn is the container, the earth principle. It is our earth as the container for life. Taurus is the earth itself, Capricorn is the form it takes to contain and nurture us as well as the forms we create. Rampant materialism destroys the earth and climate change is now approaching catastrophic levels. So two crisis are affecting everyone - loss of finances, loss of the ability of the earth to sustain us.
The main containers of society are cracked and breaking apart along with the glaciers. Pluto says - don't be afraid. Only what needs to be destroyed will be destroyed. Let go and move to the new. Earth and all the sentient beings are in need of our creativity to create the new containers, the new foundations, the new forms.
I am very encouraged by what I see. People are reaching out to help one another. I just read an article that Detroit is moving towards having urban gardens to feed everyone. There are movements to buy locally, to find activities that bring joy without costing money. The intensity of the collapse is so great and affecting so many people that new sustainable structures have to be invented fast.
In my next article I will write more about the hopeful. What you think about expands, so let us focus together on the positive.
Jillaurie has been as astrologer for over 35 years. She has lectured nationally and was co-director and founder of the Astrology Institute, a school for astrologers. She is available for astrological consultations and astro-coaching which combines counseling, manifestation work and flower esences. |
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| Astrological Weather Report |
[Mar. 28th, 2009|06:36 am] |
Astrological Weather Report
By Jillaurie Crane, MA
From astrologer Rupert John Dawson: "new moon in Aries...sets the tone for a new year of growth and development, as all around us nature begins to burst forth with new life...adding zest and warmth...[but] square to Pluto in Capricorn, creates a month of powerful transformations and choices " to read more from Rupert John: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/inbox/readmessage.php?t=1065604654706&mbox_pos=0
From Jillaurie:
I am seeing this in everyone's life. It is the first of many waves of energy challenging us to go to the next level to deal with blows from the economy and the fallout of people around us falling apart, flipping out, etc from facing those blows. What does astrology tell us about the next levels?
Pluto in Capricorn is an energy that destroys outworn systems. These systems can be in our own lives or in society as a whole. Where do you have fixed structures in your life that give you security but are no longer functioning or serving your inner being? I think we all know what systems are falling apart in society!
This months lesson is about keeping our hearts open (Sun, Moon, Venus). Only in this way can we see clearly what is the most skillful thing to do. Think of life as a dance between you and spirit where sometimes you lead and sometimes spirit leads.
In buddhism we talk about absolute and relative reality. Relative is "I lost my job, my spouse left and my dog up and died". Absolute reality is an open state of mind in the present moment. From there we can wonder "what is being asked of me? What doors are opening now that the others are closed? "
Both realities need to be honored. If there is a loss, you need to grieve, you need to get support. But if you can move back and forth in the dance, you can also let spirit lead and show you where those open doors are.
In coming newsletters I would will continue to offer my perspective on what astrology has to tell us to weather these times. This is a momentous time in human history and we can use these energies for the good. For many people it is a scary time and one in which many are suffering. I will offer, every two weeks. astrology's perspective on how we can take this up the levels into a collective spiritual leap. [and if you would like this advice made personal contact me for a session].
Jillaurie has been as astrologer for over 35 years. She has lectured nationally and was co-director and founder of the Astrology Institute, a school for astrologers. She is available for astrological consultations and astro-coaching which combines counseling, manifestation work and flower essences after 4/15/09. |
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| The Pant Weight Loss Diet |
[Mar. 26th, 2009|08:14 am] |
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What a glorious day! Again! Not only the weather but I fit into the size 12 pants!! A bit too tight to wear but a few more pounds and 5 outfits go back in the closet!!!! |
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| Morning Contemplation - CoEmerging |
[Mar. 21st, 2009|08:04 am] |
When something is shifting inside me and I have no idea yet what it is, I tend to not write. I need to just feel and observe to discover what is happening inside me. The shift I have just gone through began when I was 16 and someone gave me The Tao and I puzzled in my journal what "the way to do is to be" could possible mean.
It's taken much of this lifetime to get that how this is not a passive state and to develop Trust, the essential ingredient to live this way.
This has turned out to be my most major life lesson. Most people who know me would say - Jillaurie you do this better than most. And on some levels, the ones that show, that is true. I've done enormous inner work to make those shifts. But there has been a core level where the shift did not take place at all.
That became apparent when I lost almost everything - my marriage and all my finances, my work. I fell totally apart. For years I lived in a state of fear and even was drinking to try to still the fear. Of course nothing worked. Eventually, because I didn't lose my dear supportive friends and then so many more came into my life, and I have such strong spiritual teachings in my life, I began to live the teachings.
This is what Abraham calls the art of allowing, also called co-creation, dependent origination, interbeing. Each step of the way when I let go a little more of believing I had to make it happen as the sole captain of my ship, things started moving forward.
It amazes me that this place of not allowing could be so strong. But it has shifted and like Job, all that was taken away is coming back in more wonderful forms than I could ever have imagined by myself. I continually notice when the old thinking comes up and shift again. It is a process right now that involves continuous mindfulness but I can see it becoming more just who I am. |
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| Morning Contemplation Friday |
[Feb. 20th, 2009|08:35 am] |
Yesterday I had alot of resistance to starting my day. The whole day I was off balance and didn't feel well. I think I am overloaded. Much as I would like to accomplish many things I have to slow down. I just don't do well spread out. By evening I felt emotionally crashed. Today started much better. I did a MAP session (http://www.perelandra-ltd.com/) and that made a big difference.
I just have to get through the next four days without a break. I haven't been able to be with my Mom much and that doesn't feel good as she is more focused and oriented when I visit regularly. My workshop is on Sunday and I am excited I got enough people but I ended up working a long day on Saturday and I really should have taken the day off to prepare. I just have to keep learning where my balance point is.
My friend R. moves in as our roommate on Monday and so the household will rebalance to include all that new energy. Then the next three days are much slower. |
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| Morning contemplations Thursday |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|07:07 am] |
I've been up for about an hour and just played on the computer. I've been wanting to start my mornings again with the morning prayers and meditation but something goes into resistance. For now I am just listening to see what this is about.
Something in me resists starting my day. I think it is something old because consciously I am excited to start my day and when I wake up and do my prayers and meditate it feels really good. The computer is at least an improvement over lying in the dark not wanting to start my day and then my mind just starts rambling aimlessly.
I always find it interesting when we resist what feels good and what we know is also good for us. If what is good for us is hard or painful in some way that makes sense but we have these illogical circuits in the brain that resist stuff that feels good and is good for us. So we resist exercise when we feel great from it but can't resist the chocolate cookie.
It would seem that both the cookie and the exercise, assuming it is not overdoing, both make us feel good and the exercise feel good lasts longer. So why do we gravitate to one and resist the other. I used exercise because I grew up a reading coach potato, others have something else. |
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| Morning contemplations Wednesday |
[Feb. 18th, 2009|07:53 am] |
I am continuing to make progress on being in the world INFP/theta wave person. Having roommates, as long as my boundaries are respected, is turning out to be one of the best things for me. Keeping up with a whole house and yard was overwhelming and then I had no time for gardening. Gardening is deep in my soul and essential for me.
Having roommates also means I can finally get on my feet financially. Creating a life where I can take care of myself working part time is also essential for being a high functioning person. Lot of theta waves makes for much empathy, psychic abilities and healing energies but my focus is diffuse and doing too much I can collapse and need mega down time.
I feel so blessed that I now have a buddhist sangha right here in Venice. This is my spiritual foundation. |
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| Morning Contemplations Sunday |
[Feb. 15th, 2009|08:22 am] |
This morning I have been contemplating how I may have a fixed view of myself that needs to change. I have a very busy life. Everything is enjoyable. My livelhood involves four areas - my Mom, HR Block, petsitting and my classes and workshops. It's been dificult for me to juggle and I get schedules confused - not good.
The other day I was talking to a friend about being an introvert - an INFP for you Myers Briggs folks. Not only am I an INFP but in my brain waves, the ratio of theta (slow, dreamy, creative) waves to my beta (faster focused) waves is so high that I am actually quite far into the autistic spectrum. So I've taken it for granted that this type of life is not appropriate for me.
But it is my life. I am going to attempt to change my view of myself to one of "I can do this." I've made my physical life very small in a good way. I rarely leave Venice, which is so beautiful that's not a sacrifice. With one roommate and one more on the way I will eventually pull out of the financial hole which will open up more space in my life. I can be very connected with friends all over the world without leaving my bedroom, thanks to facebook.
Perelandra came out with a new essence that is helping my focus and concentration. I really think if I stop holding on to my belief that this is too much for me, I will relax and handle it all. |
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| The Pants Weight Loss Diet Is Working |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|09:01 pm] |
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Today I put on pants that were tight last month and they are very comfortable. Now I have a pair of really nice white linen pants to work down to! |
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| CATCHING UP |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|06:32 am] |
Well, I'm still being stolen by Facebook. I didn't get it at first. Then I discovered all these friends from my past and instantaneously we were back in each other's lives. Same for some more distant relatives. So I am finding FB as a way to have a large extended family when time and distance have been the obstacles.
I thought LJ would be that but it is a more contemplative place and most friends from my world don't have the time for reading blogs but at FB they can connect with 10 or more people within the span of 15 minutes. And although that doesn't seem personal somehow it is. I guess lots of small contacts each day leads to a feeling of being a part of someone's world.
It is a very different medium because it is fast. Most people I know who blog do so with thought behind it, for some it is part of their creative expression or to share that through their poetry, paintings, etc. I enjoy this and enjoy when I take the time to craft a post to tell a story.
I'm going to have to find time to do both as they serve different purposes in my life. I'm also feeling how all of this is broadening our consciousness. We all now are in touch all over the globe. I've added some lovely photography blogs from Mumbai India. In a subliminal way we are experiencing - we are one! |
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| So Happy |
[Jan. 15th, 2009|07:37 am] |
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I am just delighted that I have a roommate and it is working out very well. She is a sweet person and I am feeling very comfortable to set the boundaries I need for all my quiet and contemplative times. Also what a relief to not be literally living penny to penny!! |
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| The Little Raccoon With A Message |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|08:08 pm] |
Most people who read my blog have had the experience of an animal coming with a message. Whether we figure it out intuitively or use the Medicine Cards or Animal Speaks, when Spirit speaks through the four legged or the winged or even the creepy crawlies, we joyfully receive the message.
Today I was remembering a little raccoon. Two streets over from my house the land turns from housing to open, wild land. If you live on the bordering street you see all kinds of wildlife from bobcats to eagles. On my street we have birds and occasionally the lovely cranes. But we don't see much wildlife.
The day I finished moving into my house and came back for my first night there was a little raccoon standing on his hind paws as if waiting to welcome me. When I got out of the car he barely moved. When I walked forward with the dogs he did walk off a little and then turned and looked at me. So we talked for a while and then he slowly headed back in the direction of the wild areas.
I have never seen a raccoon since or even seen evidence such as garbage pails turned over on Tuesday nights when they line the street with the recycle. I really feel he came just to give me a welcome from the nature spirits of the area. I was thinking of him today and smiling! |
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| Temporarily Stolen by Facebook |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|07:17 pm] |
Well, starting 2 weeks ago people suddenly started telling me I should join Facebook. By the time it was the 4th or 5th person I figured there's a message in here. So I joined. While I waited to figure out what the message was I ended up with 50 something friends (long history with our Shambhala sangha), learned how to send things, and opened a zoo.
Finally the message came through. I learned of a Buddhist chaplaincy program that will be perfect for me and I don't know if I would have found it without one connection leading to the other. Of course now I go and check about three times a day because I have so many friends I had lost touch with.
Do some people live on their computers? It's been hard to not have a whole week go by before I realize I haven't written here, which I like to do. As I understand it people also have Flicker and Twitter and Second Life (like I could figure out time for the first one). |
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| The Pants Weight Loss Diet |
[Jan. 7th, 2009|09:38 am] |
When I gained weight I kept favorite outfits. As I gained over a period of years I was left with favorite outfits of different sizes. I found scales to be very demoralizing. Sometimes I did everything perfectly and still gained a pound.
So I came up with the pants diet, sometimes it includes a skirt or a dress. What I do is pick out an article of clothing that is either tight or I can't fit into. My success is measured by being able to wear it! And by having to give away the ones that are now too big!
I am at the point where I can fit into most of my size 14 pants, depending on how they are cut. Now I have a pair that looks beautiful with a newer top. They are one of my Mom's that she can't fit into and the size is worn off but considering that I can't get into it, I think it is a 12. So this is my next goal. Wish me luck!! I'll let you know when I wear them.
I'm at the weight loss stage where I have to increase exercise to lose any more. Starting part time additional work will not make that easy but I have decided to call friends to set up walking buddies. Even if tired I usually will walk with a friend. |
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| IT WORKED!! |
[Jan. 7th, 2009|09:05 am] |
How did it get to Jan 7th? It doesn't feel like my last post was 3 days ago.
And the results of the post are ------- It worked!! One of the situations was drawing in a roommate. Two days after I made that inner switch a potential roommate moved in! It looks like it will work out very well. |
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| A New Breakthrough |
[Jan. 4th, 2009|07:48 am] |
I continue to work with the Abraham material and it starts to make more and more sense. This morning I had another breakthrough. I have two situations in my life that have been very slowly and gradually moving forward, much more slowly than I or my pocketbook would like!
This morning I was thinking "well it is moving forward, just still unresolved". Then I got it. My defining the situations as unresolved is keeping them there as I vibrate unresolved energy. So I shifting the wording to "I have these two situations in my life that I am excitedly moving forward with."
It was one of those 'Duh" moments that make so much sense once you get there but are so invisible until you do. |
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| Did You Know |
[Dec. 30th, 2008|01:38 pm] |
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By the end of World War Two 40% of the US produce was grown in home gardens. This speaks volumes for the time we live in both in terms of everyone's budget and buying locally produced. And these days there are so many books on container gardening if you don't have a yard. If you have a small yard, Square Foot Gardening is the book for you! |
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